Author: Jack Meggitt-Phillips
Title: The Beast and the Bethany: Revenge of the Beast
Publication Date: Sept 30th
Genre: Junior Fiction Humour.
Buying Links: amazon
Comments: Although I received an ARC of this book, I was in no way influenced to leave a glowing review by a tiny terror with an arsenal of stinkbombs. (Pfft Liar)
Once upon a very badly behaved time, 511-year-old Ebenezer kept a beast in his attic. He would feed the beast all manner of objects and creatures and in return, the beast would vomit him up expensive presents. But then The Bethany arrived …
Now notorious prankster Bethany, along with her new feathery friend Claudette, is determined that she and Ebenezer are going to DE-BEAST their lives and Do Good. But Bethany finds that being a notorious prankster makes it hard to get taken on for voluntary work. And Ebenezer is secretly missing the beast’s vomitty gifts. And neither of them are all that sure what ‘good people’ do anyway …
Then there’s Claudette, who’s not been feeling herself recently. Has she eaten something that has DISAGREED with her?
The Beast and the Bethany has all the classic macabre humour of Roald Dahl with the warmth and charm of Despicable Me, finished off with a gleeful bite of Little Shop of Horrors!
Ignore the above synopsis, this book is about a brilliant, fabulous, ex-prankster turned do-gooder Bethany. She is the star of the show.
(There I typed it; will you stop pinching me now? No, you need to write more about me! Fine)
In the last book our fair heroine Bethany was rescued (Don’t put that!) Sorry, uh saved? (NO!) Taken from an orphanage to live with (Gitface) Ebenezer who has a beast problem in his attic. Bethany saved the day and stopped the Beast from eating her. (Better? Yes, much, I didn’t need to be rescued thank you very much. All the kids loved me, I was very popular.)
Instead, Claudette ate the Beast. (Hah! Serves him right, the old rotter- did I tell you he was going to eat me? I literally just typed that! Are you going to carry on interrupting everything I say? Oh, Fine I’ll be quiet. Just get it right!!)
Gitface-Uh Ebenezer and their faithful friend and singing Parrot Claudette are trying to do-good around the neighbourhood and thoroughly de-beast their lives.
But the town is full of… (I can’t say that word. Fine, it wasn’t that rude!) jerks and they refuse to believe Bethany is really over her prankster ways. Which is very rude and—
I woz tryin my best and it woznt my folt they can’t take a joke! They shud just get a – HEY!
Sorry- someone stole my keyboard and they have atrocious spelling. Ahem, where was I?
Ah yes, it is hard to do-good when no one will let you volunteer and Ebenezer isn’t being much help as he has other things on his mind. He is missing the gifts that the Beast vomited out for him.
(Gross. Tell them about snotty Gloria! Or about how the sandwiches and the shirt! We don’t want to tell them everything or else they won’t read the book! They will if they don’t want to be thumped, or have a stinkbomb thrown at them. I’ve got some left you know… around here somewhere.)
Look, it’s a fantastic book with great characters, fun humorous situations and certain parts that will really gross you out. You’ll really enjoy reading it. Honestly.
(There, how was that? Ok, I suppose. Now can you untie my family? Fine. And then Bethany? Yeah? Bog OFF!)